| Date | Annoyance | Nominator | Rumour |
|---|
| 06/03/10 | Amateur Assassins | A lost conspiracy | They're really, REALLY good musicians |
| 27/02/10 | The Society of Cunts (Shit Website) | big cj | Just for the fucking sake of it. |
| 20/02/10 | The Society of Cunts (Shit Website) | Tosser spotter | They won. |
| 13/02/10 | The Society of Cunts (Shit Website) | Ricardo | They're funny. |
| 06/02/10 | Tony Blair | Ricardo | He's a pretty straight kinda guy. |
| 30/01/10 | Honest George | A lost conspiracy | I hear he has a spell checker now |
| 23/01/10 | Morris Persil | Morris Persil | He hasn't lost the dressing room and board have giving him their backing. |
| 16/01/10 | Tony Blair | Ricardo | He's being paid $200000 for appearing in this weeks ROTW. |
| 09/01/10 | Battlestar Galactica (2004) | Morris Persil | It has a story and it's got a girl in it too, apparently. |
| 02/01/10 | Quality Street. | Morris Persil | The orange and strawberry ones, when mashed together and injected with hydrochloric acid, can take the side off a standard passenger jet. |
| 26/12/09 | Joe McElderberry | Ricardo | He's number one. |
| 19/12/09 | Raj Kumar | A lost conspiracy | He has finally taken over India and is planning a campaign into Pakistan to take back what is rightfully his. Long live SULTAN KUMAR!!!! |
| 12/12/09 | Amanda "Foxy Knoxy" Knox | Dunelmus | She did it. |
| 05/12/09 | Gordon Brown | Ricardo | He's Prudent. |
| 28/11/09 | The X Factor | Tosser spotter | They're going to put someone on with talent. |
| 21/11/09 | Captain Samosa still on the run | Ricardo | He isn't gay. |
| 14/11/09 | Captain Samosa still on the run | A lost conspiracy | He knows how to drive a tank! |
| 07/11/09 | Elton John | Tosser spotter | He's got flu. |
| 31/10/09 | Christine Bleakley | A Seagull | A family of hippos live in the shadow cast by her front teeth. |
| 24/10/09 | Paul Mason (the seventy stone shitcunt) | Lord Fauntleroy Mahonk | Osama Bin Laden is hiding between gutflaps 4 and 5. |
| 17/10/09 | Stephen Gately | It's the Bailiffs | Looking forward to entering the pearly gates. |
| 10/10/09 | Tony Blair | Ricardo | He does it all for the good of the people. |
| 03/10/09 | Gordon Brown | Lord Fauntleroy Mahonk | With Gordon's wobbling jaw at full pelter, Mandelesen claims it's the best blowjob he's ever had. |
| 25/09/09 | Mark Oaten's New Book "Screwing up" | A lost conspiracy | Its a piece of shit |
| 19/09/09 | Teddy | Tosser spotter | He didn't do it, but it may have been Peter Andre or John Leslie though! |
| 12/09/09 | Silvio Berlusconi | Tosser spotter | He's gay. |
| 05/09/09 | Gordon Brown | Tosser spotter | He edidn't encourage the release of the Lockerbie terrorist for an oil contract. |
| 29/08/09 | Treguard | Ricardo | He's not going to win rumour of the week, this week. |
| 22/08/09 | Treguard | A lost conspiracy | Rumour has it, he's a total retard |
| 15/08/09 | Treguard | Dunelmus | He is one of Michael Jackson's 'kids'. |
| 08/08/09 | Treguard | Dunelmus | He is a shitcunt. |
| 01/08/09 | Jordan | Ricardo | She's not getting her cunt out today. |
| 25/07/09 | Did we land on the moon? | Tosser spotter | It was all a hoax and made in Honest George's garage. |
| 18/07/09 | Vespa's 2014 guest list | Ricardo | It's taking so long to arrange, he'll be 50 before he has his 40th birthday party. |
| 11/07/09 | Artificial Sperm | A lost conspiracy | Treguard is their leader, with his giant head and wiggly little body it would be hard to mistake him for much else. He was also create in a lab |
| 04/07/09 | Chris Packham | Coxy | He's making huge waves in the world of birdwatching. What a guy. |
| 27/06/09 | Honest George | Tosser spotter | He sold his scooter to pay for big cj's bail money. |
| 21/06/09 | Hazel Blears | Morris Persil | "I'm in touch with reality." |
| 13/06/09 | Gordon Brown | Ricardo | He's getting on with the job. |
| 06/06/09 | Alistair Darling | Tosser spotter | If he gives the money back all will be ok. |
| 30/05/09 | Barack Obama | Man in the Pub | Barack Obama appoints new defence chief in wake of North Korean nuclear tests |
| 23/05/09 | Politicians. | Ricardo | It's the systems fault. |
| 16/05/09 | Kit Kat | Morris Persil | They cost £2.50 |
| 09/05/09 | Hagen van Tronje | Ricardo | He's dead. Searchy killed him. |
| 02/05/09 | Susan Boyle | Morris Persil | The hardcore death metal album is almost ready |
| 25/04/09 | Neil Tofu (Mr Cook'd and Bomb'd) | Ricardo | Josie Long went to see him and he didn't make her smirk once. |
| 18/04/09 | Honest George | big cj | Hes not honest, and his name isnt george, its Timmy |
| 04/04/09 | Jacqui Smith | John Leslie | Has a full and active sex life and is able to keep her husband entertained in the bedroom. |
| 28/03/09 | A lost conspiracy | A lost conspiracy | He's Male |
| 21/03/09 | Lucy Baxter & Otto | A lost conspiracy | Otto is the only thing keeping the economy afloat. His spree of masturbation uses up 374 porn mags a day (an average porn mag has 80 pages and two wanks should fully cover a page, so that’s 59,840 wanks a day if you include the front and back cover) and priced at the standard price of £3.99 that is £1492.26 just for a days masturbation. Now if you half the length of each porn mag and keep the price the same that will be double the money, he wont notice too. This obsession creates jobs in all fields from loggers (he uses up 37.4 redwood trees a day-just for magazines-about 700 redwoods for the Kleenex) factory workers, porn stars, recycling staff etc. He creates thousands of jobs just because of his wee little unit. God bless you Otto |
| 14/03/09 | Robert Mugabe | Dunelmus | Ol' Bob Mugabe didn't do it.... |
| 07/03/09 | Jade Goody | A lost conspiracy | She's aliiiiiiiiiiiiiive! |
| 28/02/09 | The Labour Party | Ricardo | They've sorted the economy out. No more boom and bust. |
| 21/02/09 | Gordon Brown | Jack Johnson | This little banking 'crisis' has nothing to do with ole Heathcliff. Nothing at all. |
| 14/02/09 | Gordon Brown | Ricardo | He's a one-eyed Scottish idiot........... |
| 07/02/09 | Wankers who say ''It's going to snow next week.'' | Tosser spotter | It might snow this week. |
| 31/01/09 | Gordon Brown | Tosser spotter | He's got it all under control. |
| 24/01/09 | Raj Kumar | A lost conspiracy | I saw him in ASDA ealier today, he was behind me in a monsterous que. I was listening to my music when he tapped me on the back and said 'muchly packaging in market today yes?' What a great man |
| 17/01/09 | Jack Johnson | Tosser spotter | He's on holiday with Amy Winehouse. |
| 10/01/09 | Gordon Brown | Tosser spotter | Iw was them pesky Tories that did it. |
| 03/01/09 | 2009 | A lost conspiracy | The year that Treguard finally looses his virginity |
| 27/12/08 | Father Christmas | Tosser spotter | He's a Muslim. |
| 20/12/08 | Farepak Food and Gifts Limited | Morris Persil | Its coming! |
| 13/12/08 | Karen Matthews | Morris Persil | Mum's gone to Iceland... |
| 06/12/08 | Gordon Brown | Tosser spotter | He didn't know anything about the arrest of Damian green. |
| 29/11/08 | The Big Bang | A lost conspiracy | It wasn’t really a configuration of matter from nothing; it was just god farting on a cigarette lighter causing a huge gaseous expansion of what we call our universe |
| 22/11/08 | America | Jack Johnson | It's NOT ready for fucking change. |
| 15/11/08 | Judge Timothy Coon (DSMOs new adjudicator) | A lost conspiracy | He's black.....but dont tell anyone |
| 08/11/08 | John McCain | Jack Johnson | He's won. Honest. |
| 01/11/08 | Lord Fauntleroy Mahonk | A lost conspiracy | He's invaded Scotland; with an army of 12 knights he will plunder the township of Aberdeen, steal their women and take flight before the highland rabble have any time to muster, in good old English style. Any Scots that show their arse to our fine lord will receive an arrow right in their chocolate starfish, followed by their heads being removed and placed on a pike outside the good lords mansion. |
| 25/10/08 | Madonna | Tosser spotter | She's divorcing Guy because he thinks she's got her head up her own arse, but then again.. |
| 18/10/08 | Gordon Brown | A lost conspiracy | Apparently he's been hired to advertise for Halifax as George Wobblechin, dancing around like a cunt singing your money is all *jaw wobbles* safe |
| 11/10/08 | Rik Waller | itotallyreekofawesomeness | Did you read in the papers this week that a russian fighter plane flew over Britain. The reason was because the russian intelligence believed that Britain had launched a nuclear guided torpedo at mother russia. In actual fact it was Rik Waller taking a bathe in the sea. |
| 04/10/08 | Sarah Palin | Jack Johnson | She wears a Stars & Stripes g-string during all her public appearances. |
| 26/09/08 | Treguard | Jack Johnson | Remember those cartoons that used to have that little boy say ''DIC!'' after the end credits? Guess who provided the voice... |
| 20/09/08 | urmybiatch | A lost conspiracy | He is Treguards undercover zionist pal |
| 14/09/08 | The Hadron Collider | A lost conspiracy | Who cares about this week’s rumour of the week? Not me, simply because by the time we reach the awards on Saturday the World will have ended by what ever way this device chooses to do so. Will it be black holes, or maybe a strangelet, there is even the outside possibility that the aliens from dimension x will enter our universe and hunt Treguard down for being a suspected Zionist. |
| 06/09/08 | Levi Roots and his 'Reggae Reggae Sauce' | Jack Johnson | He's going to release new types of Reggae Reggae Sauces including exciting CheeseCock spice and tantalising CuntCuntnut flavour! |
| 30/08/08 | Treguard | A lost conspiracy | Now that he is the grand old age of 12 he has taken on the appearance of a man-sprouting 2 pubes this morning which were later revealed to be glued on. Unfortunately he will never start puberty |
| 23/08/08 | Searchbulb head | A lost conspiracy | Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees back and with a vengeance trying to destroy the site once again live from Bangkok with teddy |
| 16/08/08 | Treguard's dog, Pickles. | Jack Johnson | He's been put down for being a Zion. |
| 09/08/08 | Noel Fielding | A lost conspiracy | He's a comedy genius.....no sorry actually I take that back that’s too implausible to be a rumour; it just breaks every law of physics |
| 02/08/08 | David Miliband | Jack Johnson | He's gone from a standard cunt to the most talked about cunt in Westminister. Boy oh boy, what a cunt. |
| 26/07/08 | Batman | A lost conspiracy | He's a Zionist, watch out Treguard the dark knight is out and about and has your number, that number being 57 of course. Just look at the evidence he's rich and GAP makes his bat armour, how much more of a zionist could he be? |
| 19/07/08 | Dwain Chambers | derby4ever | Dwain Chambers is now totaly "Drug-Free" and the British people are so proud he will be representing this "fair-Isle" in the forth coming Olympics. Go Dwain,Go. |
| 12/07/08 | Dunelmus | Dunelmus | Is secretly jealous that his little brother keeps winning DSMO awards... |
| 05/07/08 | George Bush | A lost conspiracy | George is secretly a member of MENSA, he apparently has an I.Q of 154 classing him as one of the smartest warlords in the world, slightly behind Treguard who is 157 and Lord Xenu who appears to be 280, all hail the great Lord XENU!!!!!!! |
| 28/06/08 | Dale Winton | A lost conspiracy | He's heterosexual |
| 21/06/08 | The Spugdroffle | A lost conspiracy | The spugdroffle after the recent success of his multi billion dollar grossing movie has decided to move onto the world of t.v where he will now be staring alongside such greats as the cookie monster and that blind chick |
| 14/06/08 | Treguard | A lost conspiracy | He finally managed to beat his max bench press of 3 kilos, however he now has several broken vertebrae from the sheer strain to his grub like body, he then spent the rest of the week in hospital with his rather large barbell and a couple of nurses, unfortunately he forced it in theier exit holes so hard that their organs were forced out of their mouths. He is now on trial for phallicide and is facing a sentence of 57 years |
| 07/06/08 | Treguard | A lost conspiracy | Treguard was seen in the vicinity of the Middle East telling all Muslims to live long and prosper, but denied all allegations about the recent offer of membership that was proposed by Starfleet to encompass Israel as part of the United Federation of Arabs |
| 01/06/08 | Muslima.com | Jack Johnson | It's funding DSMO! |
| 24/05/08 | The Oatz | Dunelmus | He has been bought off, by new product Soylent Brown. |
| 17/05/08 | Treguard | A lost conspiracy | This just in, Treguards massive boner classed as weapon of mass distruction, all Zionists Hoooooooooooooooooo |
| 10/05/08 | The Spugdroffle | A lost conspiracy | Spugdroffle the action movie, comming to a McDonalds theatre near you |
| 03/05/08 | Josef Fritzl | Dunelmus | They found Searchlight. Now we hope they hang the fucker. By this scrotum. |
| 26/04/08 | Gordon Brown | Dunelmus | He is just about to lower taxes and to make St George's day a public holiday. |
| 19/04/08 | Robert Mugabe | Tosser spotter | He says he's really sorry for the trouble he's caused and welcomes the oppostion to form a government |
| 12/04/08 | Sarah Teather (Liberal Demoflunt and Islamonazi appeaser) | Dunelmus | Renowned Sari wearer and long time singleton, Sarah Teather accidentally stumbled onto DSMO. There she saw a wondrous sight. A young man wearing a Kuffiyah - and it was beloved by him. She found out that he was on holiday on India - now boarding a plane to Delhi she hunts him down - rubbing goats ghee into her pussy as she pictures such a liberal young man... |
| 05/04/08 | Paul Burrell | Tosser spotter | He told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth in court. |
| 29/03/08 | Paul McCartney | Tosser spotter | "He has been stated at saying his new song that contains the line, "She's a one-legged hyper gnu" has nothing to do with Heather." |
| 22/03/08 | Heather Mills | derby4ever | Shes spending £3Million on a designer vagina, constructed to look like a young-boys bottom.Shes then "Hopping" over to Saudi Arabia and selling herself to wealthy Arabs (again) in an attempt to make up the shortfall from her divorce settlement. Honest. |
| 15/03/08 | Nick Clegg | Dunelmus | Rumour has it, that he was so embarrassed that 20% of his part rebelled that he is considered sending a photo of himself with a noose around his neck, an orange stuffed into his mouth and two rent boys pissing on what is soon to be his corpse and one curling out a steaming log to the News of the World so that he can escape the pressure by doing an 'Oaten'. |
| 08/03/08 | Treguard | Dunelmus | Treguard is no longer posting on this site as 'Treguard'. He has gone undercover to find out from Osama Bin Laden himself, how exactly to kill a Zionist. This is because garlic, crucifixes and silver bullets do not work. |
| 01/03/08 | Ricardo | Tosser spotter | He's just received a leap year proposol from Searchie. |
| 23/02/08 | Sanity's Last Hope | Jack Johnson | He's still on DSMO. |
| 16/02/08 | Treguard | Sanitys Last Hope | Rumour has it from Ru Pauls agent that a valentines card was received from a male. In the card he writies about the middle east adding the lyric i wannabe a iron like a lion in zion. He finishes it off telling ru paul that shes hot and that she could spank him anyday. Can anyone guess who it might be???? |
| 09/02/08 | Jimmy Forecheese | Jack Johnson | He's back. |
| 02/02/08 | Neil Tofu (Mr Cook'd and Bomb'd) | Jimmy Vespa | Rumour has it that he's about to set up another discussion forum for people who AREN'T dour, humourless, misery-addicted kunts. Can't wait... |
| 26/01/08 | Gordon Brown | Jack Johnson | He's proposed a new taste sensation: Haggis Curry! |
| 19/01/08 | Louis Barfe | soozeequeue | I've brought more originality of thought and expression to this site in a couple of days than you'd be capable of in several lifetimes. He denies having had concussion when making this statement - his only illness is being a ginger. |
| 12/01/08 | Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf | Tosser spotter | He's unhappy with the way that Bhutto died. Apparently some other gunman got there before his. |
| 05/01/08 | Gordon Brown | Tosser spotter | Seen hanging around the Royal Mardsen Hospital with a match before they were due to announce they've lost the patients data discs. |
| 29/12/07 | Pete Doherty | Lord Reaper | Pete doherty is about to bring out a new book titled "immunity from prison" in this he tells about how many times he has broken the law and how light sentences and slap on the wrists is the hardest sentences he will ever get. |
| 22/12/07 | Stephen Fry | Lord Reaper | A sex video of Fry and his partner is due to be leaked to the public soon. The title has been rumoured to be called "out of the fry, and into the mouth" |
| 15/12/07 | The Labour Party | Ricardo | Labour party HQ is hit by shortage of brown envelopes. |
| 08/12/07 | Ulrika Johnson | Dunelmus | Rumour has it - that she is to have her virginity restored. The Japanese have been allowed to hunt the whale again to find a membrane big enough. |
| 01/12/07 | Jimmy Vespa. | Ricardo | Jimmy Vespa is embarrassed about his Debbie Gibson collection. |
| 24/11/07 | The hilarious possibility of England not qualifying for Euro 2008 | Mr England | Croatian player spotted winking at Steve McLaren just before the 3 fatal goal was scored. |
| 17/11/07 | The hilarious possibility of England not qualifying for Euro 2008 | Man in the Pub | Russian and Croatian team managers receive extremely large brown envelope. Inside was a short note - "Errrr.... me an' the lads 'ave 'ad a whip round, like" |
| 10/11/07 | Steve Cooney | Tosser spotter | He's just been given a special award for the most romantic man in Teeside. |
| 03/11/07 | Pete Doherty | Lord Reaper | friends of kate have revealed that kates desires of having petes kid has taken a turn for the worse. Kate explained to pete that to get pregnant you need to cum inside her. Pete was apparently so of his head ejaculated on a spoon and took in a syringe and injected it in kates arm. Obviously no preganancy occured but her arm is smelling rather cheesy. |
| 27/10/07 | Harry Potter | Tosser spotter | Apparently he's been seen sticking his wand up Dumbledore's bottom. |
| 20/10/07 | Paul McCartney | Lord Reaper | Paul is trying to get an out of court settlement with heather mills by paying her a fat chunk of money in the range of 50 million to not write any stories, close insiders think that some of his strange sexual habit may paint him in the wrong light. Some of his said sex acts involve him shoving his finger up her ar*e then sucking his finger, also snowballing which is said that the man cums into the womans mouth have a blowjob and then spits the cum back into the mans mouth. |
| 13/10/07 | Honest George | Sanitys Last Hope | Scooter Stig has been cuaght singing, tape found posted online http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-BM6KdVFAI |
| 06/10/07 | Princess Diana | Tosser spotter | She still alive and works at KFC Richmond branch on the night shift. |
| 29/09/07 | Gordon Brown | Tosser spotter | Gordon Brown to stop MRSA by asking Scottish to start washing |
| 22/09/07 | Brian Dowling | Sanitys Last Hope | Brain dowling is after jim davidsons blood again after a proposed phone between the two call left brian steaming. Jim:Hey Brian i just wanted to call you and make sure there is no hard feelings. Brian:Its fine Jim water of a ducks back. Jim: Thats great, so Brian me and my wife were wondering if youd like to come for dinner at our huose. Brian: Wow Jim there is really no need for all thisi mean i guess your going to cook something you learned on the show right? Jim:Faggots! Brian: Excuse me? Jim:I was thinking of cooking up some faggots. Brian:Oh well ive never tried them so maybe not. Jim:Nothing but Mince! Brian:is this a joke? Jim:No i was thinking of a pure mince dish. Brian:Sounds a bit boring. Jim:Cock Swallow? Brian: Im getting really offended Jim. Jim:No hear me out its my new dish made from fresh chicken and swallow i thought you might like the catchy name. Brian:What just because im a homosexual i would like a dish called cock swallow? Jim: Sure why not your GAY so your as "good as you" Brian hangs up..... |
| 15/09/07 | Elton John | Sanitys Last Hope | Elton is set to parody his own songs for homosexuals to dance to everywhere. Hits such as "are you ready for bumming" "im still ramming" "Can i taste your cum tonight" which are parodies of "are you ready for something" im still stnading" and "can you feel the love tonight" respectivly. The album is tagged with the slogan blow your money on this or elton will blow you either way someone is getting blown. |
| 08/09/07 | Madonna | Sanitys Last Hope | Madonnas rumoured to be questioned about whether her vaginal crevice can be used to stage the Olympics, Seb Coe has sampled the area and found it smells like a beach on a hot day combined with outdate mature cheddar but it is very spacious. |
